I’ve written for leading organizations for the last 25 years. I’m experienced in just about every medium and I’ve won numerous awards for my work. What’s more, I play well with the other kids and collect hotel “do not disturb” door hangers in my spare time.

But as intriguing as those facts are, here are a few more. My therapist said it’s good to be open with others, so here goes…

• By age seven, I could recite the Encyclopedia Britannica up to the letter “O.” Out of concern, I stopped at the entry, “obsessive-compulsive disorder.”

• During my initiation into the Fighting Faulkners Literary Biker Gang, I was forced to get a club rule tattooed on my arm. I chose “Never end a sentence with a preposition,” but the gang chose where to put it at.

• In high school, I traded my restored Pontiac GTO for a word processor. Man, could that baby fly! The GTO wasn’t bad either. (BA-DUM-BUMP. Try the veal.)

• Prior to college, I attended Y’all Aversion Therapy to counter my rural upbringing. At graduation, I proudly exclaimed, “Thank yoooouuuuu aaalllll for coming.”

• After adopting three feral cats, I appropriately named them “I,” “Before E” and “Except after C.” Enforcing the feeding order is an absolute nightmare.

• I recently considered changing my name to CurtGPT, but thought better of it when the term-paper requests started pouring in.

• I once passed out during a brainstorming session while trying to come up with another word for “thesaurus.”